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Getting Schooled in the Tchaikazan: Falls River 2004
Timestamp Free: 2019.06.16 - 12:20:42
Ranges: North America Ranges / Pacific Cordillera Range / Coast Mountains / Pacific Ranges
  (7 days)
Participants: Don Serl, Jordan Peters, Andrew Rennie National Pillar likely D+/IV, class 5.8, ~14 pitches
The third ascent of Winstone's "National Pillar" and a new route on the Beehive.
The bivy in Williams Lake on the way up was among the best. It was 1 a.m. and we needed somewhere to catch a few hours sleep. Calling on Don's acquaintances in town at this hour was beyond good taste, so we found a semblance of a public space/park down by the lake. After the mosquitoes it was the drunken teenagers at 2 a.m. trying to mimic coyote yowls, and then the police officer at 3 a.m. who did not evict us from our oh-so perfect spot, but while shining that spotlight of a flashlight in our eyes simply warned us that he, himself, would not feel safe there. He would not elaborate though, whether the mysterious and dangerous things "that have been going on down by the lake" entailed merely unregistered boats or full-blown mass cult suicides, so with that wonder in our heads we drifted back off and got at least two hours of sleep before the bugs and the sun rose in splendid synchronicity.

Now before going into the mountains for a week of burnt noodle dishes, a mountaineer's base instinct is to order the largest and greasiest thing on the menu. (This also works in reverse; witness a wedding a few days after the conclusion of the trip where I ate so much meat in compensation for a week of climbing food that I ended up convulsing with cramps for the entire weekend). Well, at 5 a.m. Rennie and I could not seem to even gain a foothold on the "Full House" Williams Lake Husky breakfast that was comprised of two separate plates: 3 eggs, 3 pieces of bacon, 3 sausages, half a plate of hashbrowns, 4 pieces of toast and 3 pancakes that were each 8 inches across and an inch high. Our climbers' resolution and thrift would not let us give up and for the entire 5 hour drive to the end of the road in Falls River we were near vomiting.

After getting the obligatory flat near the...

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